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Back to Advice.
Let's face it, action scenes are difficult to write. Writers must find the perfect balance between description, dialogue, inner dialogue and character emotions, or as I call them The Fantastic Four! Action scenes in movies and on TV shows are unrealistic at best and often impossible without the aid of special effects.
Description:
Description of an fight scene is important to get right. There have been scenes written that are just outright impossible for a person to do no matter how flexible. For example, kicking a person in the face when you're lying on the ground is hard to do unless they are bent over you. Also if an opponent is behind you, you cannot just throw an elbow or back hand punch without first looking to see where he is! It works in movies and TV because those scenes are staged.
Remember, stunt men and women can take a punch, but your average character is going to be quite surprised when punched full force. It hurts...a lot! Most people won't pop back up ready to fight in a few seconds. If your character has abs of steel, then he'll be able to take a punch to the gut without blinking. If not, he'll be gasping for breath and throwing up.
Another thing - in real street fights, people fight dirty. They pull hair, they bite, they scratch, they grab and hang on to each other's clothes, and they slap. Also real fights last seconds and not minutes.
You need to decide just how realistic you want your fight scenes to be - after all, you want to entertain your readers and fiction is called fiction for a reason. It will mostly depend on your genre. If you're writing a police procedural, then the action and fights should be as close to reality as possible. If you're writing a comedy, then you can make your scenes as fun and crazy and unrealistic as the action scenes in The Pirates of the Caribbean movie with Johnny Depp. In my books, I strive to keep it as realistic as possible since I'm a stickler. Also I've learned karate, fencing, self-defense, and how to fight with knives in order to get the details right!
One of the ways that helps me write a good fight scenes is that I act it out. I have weapons in my office and I'll frequently "staged" a fight scene to see if it will work. You can invite some friends over, order pizza and see if what you described is physically possible. Also you can buy a set of mock/toy weapons and experiment. Give the kids rubber knives and see how they spar ;)
If you still have no idea of how to describe a realistic fight you can try joining a local karate club or local fencing club. Learning martial arts and/or fencing is an excellent way to help you write fight scenes. Gun clubs and outdoor sporting stores are a good place to find classes about shooting guns and archery. Or interview a martial arts teacher or a boxer or a self-defense instructor. Many people are willing to educate you in the proper way to fight and they also love to talk about what they're passionate about. Also YouTube is another great resource. There are plenty of videos of realistic fights for you to watch.
When writing a fight scene, be careful that you don't have too many descriptive details. This will cause the scene to read like a laundry list.
Example of a fight scene from POISON STUDY with descriptive details only:
He snarled and pulled his arm back to swing the knife.
As the blade swept toward me, I stepped in close to his body, so when I turned my right shoulder brushed his chest. Using the edges of my opened hands, I struck his upper and lower arm. The combined force of my strike and his swing made Nix's arm go immediately limp. The weapon clattered to the floor.
Grabbing his arm, I twisted it until the heel of his hand pointed toward the ceiling. Then I pivoted, placing my right shoulder under his elbow. I yanked his hand down. A loud crack then a scream as Nix's arm broke. Spinning around to face him, I punched him twice in the nose. Blood gushed. While he was off balance, I kicked his kneecap, shattering it. Nix crumpled to the ground.
I danced around him, kicking him in the ribs. When Nix was still, I knelt beside him and felt for a pulse. A strong throb met my fingertips. Nix clutched my elbow.
I yelped and punched him in the face. His grip relaxed, and I pulled my arm free. Snatching the knife from the floor, I ran.
While this scene is technically accurate, it's flat and emotionless. However, note that the sentences are short and the verbs are active. With action scenes, you want to keep the sentences shorter because that increases the pace. Fight scenes are always fast-paced.
Dialogue:
Dialogue during fight scenes is also not going to match what you see in the movies. The witty repartee and entire conversations ain't going to happen. Fighting is hard. If you're not in the best shape, you will be panting and gasping for breath in 30 seconds. You're not going to waste energy on having a conversation. However, if you are in excellent shape you might have breath to utter a few words or trash talk. Conversations during action scenes should consist of very short sentences.
Example with both descriptive details and dialogue:
"Bitch." He pulled his arm back to swing the knife.
As the blade swept toward me, I stepped in close to his body, so when I turned my right shoulder brushed his chest. Using the edges of my opened hands, I struck his upper and lower arm. The combined force of my strike and his swing made Nix's arm go immediately limp. The weapon clattered to the floor.
Grabbing his arm, I twisted it until the heel of his hand pointed toward the ceiling. Then I pivoted, placing my right shoulder under his elbow. I yanked his hand down. With a loud crack Nix's arm broke.
"You're dead," he screamed.
Spinning around to face him, I punched him twice in the nose. Blood gushed. While he was off balance, I kicked his kneecap, shattering it. Nix crumpled to the ground.
I danced around him, kicking him in the ribs. "Funny, I don't feel dead."
When Nix was still, I knelt beside him and felt for a pulse. A strong throb met my fingertips.
Nix clutched my elbow. "You--"
I yelped and punched him in the face. His grip relaxed, and I pulled my arm free. Snatching the knife from the floor, I ran.
The fight scene is a bit better now. The readers can get a sense of who the characters are by their words. Yelena (the main protagonist) comes off as a bit snarky with her "Funny, I don't feel dead." response to Nix's threat.
Inner Dialogue:
Inner dialogue is where the character thinks..."Oh crap, I should have kept my big mouth shut" before being punched adds to the scene. In this case, the writer needs to be aware of not having too much inner dialogue. It will slow the pace of the scene down and the reader will forget what action had happened just before this long pause for the character to think about what he's going to do or should have done or not done etc...
Example with descriptive details, dialogue, and inner dialogue:
"Bitch." He pulled his arm back to swing the knife.
As the blade swept toward me, I stepped in close to his body, so when I turned my right shoulder brushed his chest. Using the edges of my opened hands, I struck his upper and lower arm. The combined force of my strike and his swing made Nix's arm go immediately limp. The weapon clattered to the floor.
Grabbing his arm, I twisted it until the heel of his hand pointed toward the ceiling. Then I pivoted, placing my right shoulder under his elbow. Could I take the next step? Nix dug his fingers into my throat. Oh yes. I yanked his hand down. With a loud crack Nix's arm broke.
"You're dead," he screamed.
Finish this, I thought. Spinning around to face him, I punched him twice in the nose. Blood gushed. While he was off balance, I kicked his kneecap, shattering it. Nix crumpled to the ground.
"Funny, I don't feel dead." I danced around him, kicking him in the ribs. A rational part of my mind warned me to stop before I killed him.
When Nix was still, I knelt beside him and felt for a pulse. A strong throb met my fingertips.
Nix clutched my elbow. "You--"
I yelped and punched him in the face. His grip relaxed, and I pulled my arm free. That was stupid. Snatching the knife from the floor, I ran.
With this example, the main protagonist (Yelena's) thoughts have been incorporated and the readers really get a sense of what she's thinking during the fight. I did use "I thought" in this example, but if you're writing in first person POV, you don't need to say "I thought" and you don't need italics either to indicate internal thoughts. The readers are in Yelena's head, and all thoughts are assumed to be hers.
Emotion:
Emotion is very important. Unless the character is a hard-core street fighter or assassin, her adrenaline will be high, her emotions will be more acute and they can also be conflicting. There needs to be a reaction to her own actions as well as from her opponent's actions. If a person swings a fist at you, you might duck but at the same time you'll be pissed off about it (or scared).
Example with descriptive details, dialogue, inner dialogue, and emotion:
"Bitch." He pulled his arm back to swing the knife.
Panicked, I froze for a second. But as the blade swept toward me, I stepped in close to his body, so when I turned my right shoulder brushed his chest. Using the edges of my opened hands, I struck his upper and lower arm. The combined force of my strike and his swing made Nix's arm go immediately limp. The weapon clattered to the floor.
Grabbing his arm, I twisted it until the heel of his hand pointed toward the ceiling. Then I pivoted, placing my right shoulder under his elbow. Could I take the next step? Nix's dug his fingers into my throat. Oh yes. I yanked his hand down. With a loud crack Nix's arm broke.
"You're dead," he screamed.
Finish this, I thought, pushing my fear aside. Spinning around to face him, I punched him twice in the nose. Blood gushed. While he was off balance, I kicked his kneecap, shattering it. Nix crumpled to the ground.
"Funny, I don't feel dead." I danced around him, kicking him in the ribs.
My blood hummed and sizzled. His weak attempts to block me only fueled my frenzy. In that state of mind, I might have killed him. However, the realization that he might indeed die finally reached a rational part of my mind. I stopped, breathing hard.
Nix was still. Terrified I hadn't stopped soon enough, I knelt beside him and felt for a pulse. A strong throb met my fingertips. The relief that coursed through me vanished when Nix clutched my elbow.
"You--"
I yelped and punched him in the face. His grip relaxed, and I pulled my arm free. That was stupid. Snatching the knife from the floor, I took Janco's often-repeated advice for self-defense: "Hit and git." I ran.
Now the scene has all the elements and, as you can see, it's much better than the three previous examples! It's also longer :)
Here are a few other tips to help you write a fight scene:
1. Find a well written action scene from another book and dissect it. See how the author balances description, dialogue and emotion.
2. Trial and error. Write, write and write some more and see what works and what doesn't.
3. Seek feedback from other writers.
4. Seek feedback from martial artists and boxers.
I hope this helps you write fantastic fight scenes that impress your readers!
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